Where are your pants, Castle?
by Trinxy
Summary: There is a man, standing in front of the murder board, in the middle of the precinct. Focused, serious, determined. There's only one thing wrong. He has no pants.


"Where are your pants, Castle?"

That is a very good question from detective Ryan who is standing in front of his desk and eyeing the half naked man standing in front of the murder board.

Castle slowly turns his head towards Ryan and looks at him with a neutral face. That surprises Ryan a bit. For a half naked man, he should be a little bit surprised or... at least embarrassed.

"I am solving a murder," comes a serious answer. Castle turns his attention back to the murder board.

Ryan now turns his head to his partner who has the same kind of confused look on his face. It's Esposito's time to ask now.

"Why are you showing us your hairy thighs?" the Latino steps closer to him.

Castle looks down at his legs, then throws a glance at Esposito. "Hey, they are not that _hairy_."

"They totally are," Esposito argues.

"Are they turning you on?" Castle asks, wicked smirk on his face. Esposito's face drops.

"What?" he asks frowning, disgust flashing on his features.

"Because, you know, you make me uncomfortable when you look at my … thighs... like that. That's awkward," Castle laughs, sounding a bit weirded out.

"What, no!" Espo shrieks, not sounding very manly anymore. "That's disgusting, man. You are the one who is standing here without pants."

"And?" Castle asks.

"Without _Pants_!" Espo pushes out the words.

"Don't look at me then, if you don't like it." Castle shrugs, like there's nothing wrong with the situation.

"Where the hell are your pants?" Ryan still can't get over his initial question.

Espo backs him up quickly. "Yeah, where are they?"

"What's it matter to you?" Castle asks, seemingly not wanting to share the mystery of the missing pants.

"Castle," Epso huffs out. "You are standing in the middle of the precinct, showing your bright red boxers to everybody. We should be entitled to know what gave us the honour."

Castle sighs, backing up a bit and leaning against Beckett's desk. He is embarrassed. The tinge of red is crawling to his face.

"I had an accident," Castle says it out, almost whispering.

"Ew, Castle," Ryan wrinkles his nose.

The writer's mouth opens in shock. "Not _that_ kind of accident, Ryan. Ew! Would I still be wearing my boxers?"

Now, it's Esposito's turn to be disgusted, covering his eyes with his hand he huffs out "Ew, ew. Thanks for saving us from the torture."

They stand there for a second, in silence, the two detectives surrounding the bigger form of the writer who is sitting on desk. He seems to be unharmed and otherwise healthy. No other obvious signs apart his missing trousers.

"What kind of accident?" Esposito prods it further. He is really curious what happened to Castle and his pants.

Castle is hesitant. He looks around the room and spotting no one, he hunches a little closer to the boys and starts to talk cautiously. "The suspect, right?" Both detectives nod in unison. They know Beckett left to catch the suspect with writer in tow.

"The suspect worked in a Zoo," Castle shares, face dead serious. "We went to catch him. And... ah, um," his face is flaming now. "And one of the gorillas there was... uhm. Let's just say... a little too friendly."

"Gorilla stole your pants?" Esposito croaks out loud. When Castle nods both Ryan and Espo bark out laughter.

Castle shifts uncomfortably on Beckett's table. The detectives are laughing their lungs out. Esposito gasps for air.

"Gorilla had the hots for you?" is all he manages to say before he falls into another fit of laughter.

"It's not funny," Castle tries so hard to be serious. The corners of his mouth are dancing, trying to suppress the bubbling laughter, but for his sake, he has to be serious.

"Hell it's not!" Espo gasps again. His brown eyes are streaming with tears of laughter. "Gorilla... stole... pants..." he manages to get out between the puffs of laughter.

"Oh, my god," Ryan laughs "This must be the funniest thing I have heard today." Then he's back on the laughing fit again.

It takes a long while before the detectives calm down enough to breathe. And talk. Castle has done well so far. He is serious as a heart attack.

"So," the Latino detective tries to put the puzzle together in his head. "Gorilla stole your pants and you came back here?"

Castle nods. "Basically yes," he answers, thoughtfully.

"Wouldn't it been a better idea to go home and change clothes?" Ryan asks head tilted to left, like trying to think over what Castle has said so far.

"Ah, um. Alexis..." he coughs, making the detectives wince. "She's bringing me new clothes," he tells, hoping that it would satisfy their curiosity.

Just when Esposito opens his mouth to ask something else, his phone starts to ring. He fishes it out of his pocket and answers "Esposito. Yep. Okay. We are on our way."

With that, he clicks off his phone. He looks at Ryan. "It's Lanie. She found something."

Ryan nods and they step away from him, hurrying. Esposito turns himself to face him before he steps into the elevator, "Thanks for the laugh, Castle. I hope you find your pants soon!"

Ryan joins in with his laughter and with that they are off the room.

The writer stays sitting on the desk for a short while, making sure the pair is off the homicide floor. He looks around and the whole room is empty. He huffs out a breath, "Whew, that was close."

He stands up from the desk and heads to the break room. He opens the door and steps inside, closing it quickly. He turns around and eyes the brown haired detective standing there. She is trying to contain herself and not burst out laughing.

"That was close," she manages to say between giggles.

He smiles at her. He raises an index finger to her. "I am never doing it again."

She arches a brow at him, smiling. "We'll see about that."

"Yeah?" he steps closer to her and sneaks his arms around her.

She nods and whispers "You have to learn not to lose the bets."

Her eyes flutter close as his mouth descends to her neck and his lips touch her soft flesh below the ear. He knows for a fact, this makes her shudder. And he's right. He feels the slight tremble of her beneath him.

He whispers into her ear, "This time, you won fair and square. But next time, be prepared, you are going down!"

With the last word, he brings his mouth to hers. The familiar heat of their lips working together is making her sigh against him. She opens her mouth to him without hesitation and he plunges in. He discovers the familiar surface of her mouth again and again, before they need to part from each other. Air becomes necessary.

She leans his forehead on his and sucks in the precious air.

"You could have come up with a better story," she finally says. "You got lucky. They started to suspect."

He nods. "I know." He smiles and looks at her eyes. "Saved by the bell."

Suddenly, she flicks her finger against his earlobe, making him gasp in pain. "What was that for?" he winces in pain and pouts, looking at her intently.

"A gorilla?" It only makes him laugh. She punctuates next words with a pokes to his chest, "I am _not_ a gorilla."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**I hope you liked my wee crack fic. Let me know about it! **

***hugs* **

**Trinx**


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